...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
