Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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