Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
