Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
