you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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