we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize