help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
