We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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