do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
