What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
