Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
