so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize