I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
