all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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