haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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