Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
