Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
