eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
