I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I think i got beer on your cat.
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