that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize