i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
