At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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