so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
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