and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
