I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
