Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I think i got beer on your cat.
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