Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
