do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
