chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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