I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
