woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
and you fell through a lawn chair
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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