You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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