Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
