I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
