Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
