State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
