Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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