My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
