I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
