I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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