pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
