if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You're earring is so big in my mouth
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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