dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
