I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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