I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
