Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
