She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize