making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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