are you still at the devil's house?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
