I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
