so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
i now understand why vodka
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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