Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
