i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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