her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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