Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
