Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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