You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
she peed on how many people?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
