You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize