New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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