You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
