WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
it hurts more in the daytime
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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