Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
