he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
