she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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