Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
