"it" just moved
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
