when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
